WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
