it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
