She's JV to your varsity
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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