i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
