He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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