I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
