respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
we're so committed to being not committed
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
