question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
