What a fucking waste of an outfit
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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