D3 body, D1 cock
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
