things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
