Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
