i don't like sucking hair
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
