your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
