dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
