She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
