Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
