I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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