a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize