I need to stop coming to work sober
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
