Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
