I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
