you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
