The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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