For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
