just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
