Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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