I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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