What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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