so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
