she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
