just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
