so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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