pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
