Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
