hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
