I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
