please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
