Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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