Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
