Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
