Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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