Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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