Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
