No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
