you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
