so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
