You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
