i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So apparently I’m into choking now
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