Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
