she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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