Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
