found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
