Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
