Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
then he tried to convert me to islam
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize