I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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