It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
