I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
