So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
