You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
