i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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