party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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