It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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