i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
