On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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