Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
