We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
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