I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
