dude i'm inner monologue high
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
