we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
