she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
