we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
