I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
