Having a random hookup so left but love u
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
