it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
