Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
