This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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