by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
