im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
