He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
