Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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