8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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