im gay
i know
yea but for you.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
