I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
